I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
