More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
