Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
