Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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