Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
