he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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