if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize