Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
