Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
