I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
