We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
