If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
