Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
