his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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