dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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