Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
bring money and cleavage
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
