I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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