My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
