Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
please don't ironically join a cult
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