i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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