What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
