So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Everclear isn't food dammit
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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