Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You're so nebulous sometimes
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize