Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize