When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
