i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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