New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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