Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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