No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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