I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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