Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Someone came in the potted fern
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
