she takes plan B like it's going out of style
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just high enough for therapy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
