fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
