Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
