the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
