Michael Bay diarrhea
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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