He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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