I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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