So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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