That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
