yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Plan B is the new Plan A
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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