first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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