I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
