her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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