I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
