he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
