I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Randomize
