Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
