I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
