I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
