he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
