awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
