where am i from again
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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