Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
