The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
