they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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