hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
