So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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