rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Found your dick twin last night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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