is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
