Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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