I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Rumble strips road head = magical
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
