when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
