Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
