what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
