Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
