waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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