Whod you bang
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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