You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
