Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Randomize
