Plan B is the new Plan A
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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