We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
